"DEAR ABUBAKAR..." A NOTE FROM ONE DAD TO ANOTHER'S SON

 

Growing up, our parents were protective, perhaps even too protective, keeping a close eye on the kinds of friends we kept.

I remember many times when my dad would pull me aside to question me about someone he saw me talking with. He would ask, “Who’s that boy? Who are his parents? Where do they live? Does he go to school? What was his position last term?”

If I really valued the friendship, I sometimes painted the person in such a bright light that my overly impressed father would begin his own investigations. But when my information didn’t add up, the verdict was swift:

“I never want to see you with that guy again.”

And just like that, I had to ignore someone I liked, no questions asked.

Fast forward to today, I’m a father now, and somehow, without seeking permission, that same protective spirit has taken over me.

One morning, while dropping off my boys at school, his class teacher complained that he and his friend Abubakar (not real name) were disturbing the class with football talk, even during lessons. I thanked her and warned him there and then, leaving the longer talk and classic fatherly threats for later.

But I could tell he really liked Abubakar. So instead of being harsh, I wrote the boy a letter.

I started:

“Dear Abubakar, I’m Papi’s dad. Since you’re his friend, that makes you my son too…”

Then I passed along the same message I had shared with Papi at home, but this time, asking him how he’d feel if he was a teacher and other children disrupted his class. I wanted to speak to the innocent conscience kids carry deep inside.

I requested a reply. And when Papi returned from school, we read Abubakar’s reply together.

We both laughed. Papi saw a side of his friend he had never seen, the humour, good writing, clear thinking.

The episode may seem funny, but it left me reflecting deeply; 'Every child born into this world could be yours or mine'.

Instead of separating our kids from others we disapprove of, maybe we should try reforming those kids, because we won’t always be there in the secret places our children will go, no matter how attentive we are.

As parents, teachers, and all agents of influence, our duty is clear:

TO RAISE CHILDREN WHOSE LIVES AND GLORY EXCEED OUR OWN.

From all of us at Jewel Publishers and Rapid Express, Happy Children’s Day to every child, everywhere.

Shalom.