"DEAR ABUBAKAR..." A NOTE FROM ONE DAD TO ANOTHER'S SON

Growing up, our parents were protective, perhaps even too protective, keeping a close eye on the kinds of friends we kept.

I remember many times when my dad would pull me aside to question me about someone he saw me talking with. He would ask, “Who’s that boy? Who are his parents? Where do they live? Does he go to school? What was his position last term?”

If I really valued the friendship, I sometimes painted the person in such a bright light that my overly impressed father would begin his own investigations. But when my information didn’t add up, the verdict was swift:

“I never want to see you with that guy again.”

And just like that, I had to ignore someone I liked, no questions asked.

Fast forward to today, I’m a father now, and somehow, without seeking permission, that same protective spirit has taken over me.

One morning, while dropping off my boys at school, his class teacher complained that he and his friend Abubakar (not real name) were disturbing the class with football talk, even during lessons. I thanked her and warned him there and then, leaving the longer talk and classic fatherly threats for later.

But I could tell he really liked Abubakar. So instead of being harsh, I wrote the boy a letter.

I started:

“Dear Abubakar, I’m Papi’s dad. Since you’re his friend, that makes you my son too…”

Then I passed along the same message I had shared with Papi at home, but this time, asking him how he’d feel if he was a teacher and other children disrupted his class. I wanted to speak to the innocent conscience kids carry deep inside.

I requested a reply. And when Papi returned from school, we read Abubakar’s reply together.

We both laughed. Papi saw a side of his friend he had never seen, the humour, good writing, clear thinking.

The episode may seem funny, but it left me reflecting deeply; 'Every child born into this world could be yours or mine'.

Instead of separating our kids from others we disapprove of, maybe we should try reforming those kids, because we won’t always be there in the secret places our children will go, no matter how attentive we are.

As parents, teachers, and all agents of influence, our duty is clear:

TO RAISE CHILDREN WHOSE LIVES AND GLORY EXCEED OUR OWN.

From all of us at Jewel Publishers and Rapid Express, Happy Children’s Day to every child, everywhere.

Shalom.

Comments

DEBT IS A VERY BAD THING

You may not know me personally, but take this from me: DEBT COULD BE A TERRIBLE THING. As long as you owe someone, you remain their servant, no matter how talented or respected you are. Yesterday, while driving to work and enjoying my heavenly sandwich, I spotted Emeka in traffic and nearly lost my appetite. Why? I remembered how badly I suffered in his hands after I was duped of the money I had borrowed from him to fund a certain business opportunity. Let me gist you. When I went back to Emeka to explain what had happened, he empathised with me and even offered a payment plan since it was clear I couldn't return the money all at once. Sometime after, we were both invited to serve as panellists at a supply chain management event. I was the first to share my thoughts on a topic, which Emeka later disagreed with. But my take must have sounded more compelling, because I was asked to expand further. Crazy me (forgetting that my oga at the top was seated beside me), I took a whiteboar...

WHAT HAPPENS AFTER PRISON ?

A few years ago, I listened to a message by Bishop T.D. Jakes where he spoke about the high likelihood of ex-convicts returning to prison. This, he said, was largely due to the difficulty they face reintegrating into society. One major challenge is public acceptance. Many employers don’t want individuals with criminal records associated with their brand. Others fear that the ex-convict might relapse into old behaviours, potentially causing harm or bringing trouble to their organisation. While these concerns are understandable, Bishop Jakes advocated for meaningful reform during incarceration. He suggested that churches, manufacturers, and other businesses should create training programmes for inmates—equipping them with skills that will help them survive once they are released. The goal? To reduce the temptation to return to crime. A few days ago, while scrolling through social media, I came across a photo with a caption that caught my attention: President Ibrahim Traoré of Burkina F...

A NEW NIGERIA IS POSSIBLE - BUT ONLY IF WE CHANGE HOW WE THINK

RENEW YOUR MIND – NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR THOSE WHO BELIEVE. Before stepping into the Made in Nigeria Course class, which is held every third Saturday of the month, I always grab a cup of coffee to stay alert during Dike Chukwumerije's life-changing lectures. On one of those Saturdays, as I paid for my coffee, the sales boy asked why we gathered every month. I told him, "We come together to discuss how to rebuild Nigeria." He smirked and said, "Oga, una just dey waste una time. Nigeria don finish." I smiled and replied, "If this message about transforming Nigeria is strong enough to bring me all the way from Mesopotamia (a distant location) and others from across different states, then rebuilding Nigeria is NOT impossible." Before leaving, I asked him: "What religion did your great-grandfathers practice?" He answered, "Traditional religion." "And your father and you?" He said, "Christianity." I then asked, ...

Ask Chuka

Search This Blog