Ask Chuka

  When I was in boarding school, I had a friend whose provisions were just garri , sugar and kuli kuli . For me, I had no garri at all. My parents believed it affected eyesight, so it never made it into my box. Yet, despite what we had or didn’t have, Kevin and I became very close. Same hostel, same class. We were almost inseparable in Federal Government College Kaduna . He was good at football, fast, and likeable, but there was a problem no one saw. Anytime Kevin asked for my provisions especially milk to soak his garri or cornflakes and I refused, he would stop speaking to me. Completely. No explanation. Just silence. And somehow, I always found myself begging him… with double of what he asked for. This went on for years. My provisions would finish quickly and when my mum asked, I couldn’t explain. They thought seniors were taking them. Even when I started keeping things with my guardian, it didn’t stop. Kevin would demand I bring more. When I couldn’t, the silence returned. At s...

  Two years ago, when I took Naija Brand Chick DSI, one message from a facilitator stayed with me till today. She said, “𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧.” That day, the ratio of women to men was almost 9.5 to 0.5. From their faces, you could tell they were hungry — not just for success, but for a way out. Many of them felt broken from their relationships. And for them, financial success was not just about money — it was about freedom. I attended because I wanted to grow our business. At the time, we were not where I wanted us to be. And truth be told, when I applied the lessons from that course, things changed. We made real progress. But like many people, we didn’t sustain the habits. --- Now in 2026, with everything happening in Nigeria, I began to feel that same urgency again. I wanted to go back. But DSI was no longer running. Thankfully, the course was structured in a way that I could still access the materials. So I went back to...

  This reflection continues my recent thoughts on why, in a world that constantly tells us to move on, wisdom sometimes asks us to 𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸. In my discourse yesterday 👉🏾 https://www.askchuka.com/2026/03/blog-post_9.html I explained why ignoring the past can lead us to repeat the same mistakes. There is a popular saying that if we fail to keep the records of history, we will inevitably repeat its errors. Many times, when we rush forward without looking back, we run into avoidable mistakes we may regret for the rest of our lives. Let me tell a short story. My sons have always been drawn to sports. At some point they told me they wanted to become professional sportsmen. In Nigeria, that kind of aspiration is not very common. Most children grow up talking about careers in medicine, law, engineering and other traditional professions. But I believe that people can become what they truly aspire to be. So I supported them. We enrolled them in football and tennis programmes so th...

In my discourse yesterday 👉🏾 https://www.askchuka.com/2026/03/blog-post.html  I reflected on why the growing idea of “𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙬𝙚 𝙙𝙤 𝙞𝙩 𝙣𝙤𝙬” can be problematic. I also promised to explain why, especially in a world that constantly tells us to 𝗠𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗢𝗡, while wisdom quietly reminds us to 𝗟𝗢𝗢𝗞 𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞. Let me tell you a short story. One day, my son began bleeding profusely from his nose, and we rushed him to a hospital in Abuja (𝙣𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙙 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙄 𝙧𝙚𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙥𝙞𝙩𝙖𝙡’𝙨 𝙈𝘿). In the past, I had some minor concerns about a few of their diagnoses, although my wife preferred the hospital, perhaps because of the environment. So this time, I armed myself with a medical application on my phone to validate some of the diagnoses the doctors might give. Unfortunately, my concerns proved valid. A young doctor suggested that the bleeding might be related to a Vitamin K deficiency and propos...

My friend told me recently that their new employee resigned after her probationary period was extended because of her performance. HR had a conversation with her and pointed out areas where she needed improvement. She was given a one-month extension to work on those areas, but instead of taking the opportunity to grow, she chose to resign. A few days earlier, I also spoke with my mentor. He struggled to relax during our conversation because he had just come out of an argument with a Gen Z employee regarding expectations on a task he had been assigned. These days, you hear many stories about what it is like working with Gen Z. It often feels as though a new generation is trying to redefine how work, commitment and responsibility should look in this era. The challenge is that everywhere you turn, someone is saying, “Things are no longer done that way.” The message seems simple: accept the new way things are done or insist on your values even if you have to stand alone. To be honest, I ha...

  If it were good for man to be alone, God would never have created the woman. But He thought differently. He created a help meet , suitable, strong, intentional. And if you truly understand what it means to receive help, you will understand the significance of women in the development of humanity and the advancement of our world. As much as I am a man who believes in uplifting men, I cannot recount a single season of my life when I was not helped by a woman. The first woman I knew was my mother. Without my knowledge, and with God’s help, she carried me into this world. She nurtured me. She walked me to school. She taught me my first words and my first songs. She held me when I lost my father. And when it was time for me to build my own family, she was strong enough to let me go,  to love another woman. How do I recount the blessings of marrying my wife? Yes, marriage comes with challenges. But it also comes with partnership, counsel, strength, and unseen sacrifices that hold ...

About three weeks ago, I became tired of constantly searching for pencils and pens whenever I wanted to study with my children. It felt like a small issue, but it was costing us time, money and discipline. So I stopped tolerating it. I drove to Jewel Multiservices at Area 1 and bought pencils, pens, erasers, rulers and a proper stationery container. I placed it close to the dining area where we study. Then I gave clear instructions: Every item taken must be returned immediately after use. Replacements will only happen when the ink finishes or the pencil lead is exhausted. If I check and anything is missing, everyone answers. Day one: a pen and pencil were missing. Blame game started. Eventually, they were found and returned. Day two: same thing. Day three and four: nothing missing. It has now been three weeks. Only one pencil is gone, the lead finished. One pen is missing, perhaps a visitor who did not know our rule. Inspection changed behaviour. A few days ago, while reviewing why sa...

 We had the privilege of printing the T-shirts and brochure for the Service of Songs held in honour of Ifunanya Nwangene , a prolific young soloist whose life was cut short following an unfortunate snake-bite incident . Since her passing, the internet has been abuzz. In my opinion, this is not merely because of the tragic incident itself, but because Ifunanya lived a phenomenal life , however short it may seem. Many people have passed following snake bites without drawing the attention of their communities, let alone the media. Others have lived such unimpactful lives that the world silently wished they had come and gone unnoticed. But Ifunanya’s life was different. Her presence mattered. Her voice counted. Her impact lingered. The Bible says in Psalm 90:12 : “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” No one knows when life will end, but Ifunanya’s passing, despite her young age, reminded me of two profound truths: 1. LIVE PURPOSEFULLY If the purpose of a t...

  When we go to the hospital, we do not ask about the tribe or religion of the doctors, nurses, or other health practitioners before receiving the care we need. When we go to the market to buy our daily needs, we do not concern ourselves with the tribe or religion of the sellers. We simply get what we need and move on. When we rent houses or attend schools, we rarely pause to consider the tribe or religion of others. What remains stunning, however, is that during elections, politicians suddenly remind us of our differences in tribe and religion, using them as distractions from the things that collectively benefit us: healthcare, infrastructure, education, security, and good governance. Today at Mass, the Church marked Interfaith Week. The service was beautiful and deeply moving. Three Imams visited our parish and stayed through the Holy Mass. They were given the opportunity to address us as brethren, different in faith, yet united in many core beliefs: 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐟 𝐢𝐧 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐆𝐨...