Ask Chuka

  When I was in boarding school, I had a friend whose provisions were just garri , sugar and kuli kuli . For me, I had no garri at all. My parents believed it affected eyesight, so it never made it into my box. Yet, despite what we had or didn’t have, Kevin and I became very close. Same hostel, same class. We were almost inseparable in Federal Government College Kaduna . He was good at football, fast, and likeable, but there was a problem no one saw. Anytime Kevin asked for my provisions especially milk to soak his garri or cornflakes and I refused, he would stop speaking to me. Completely. No explanation. Just silence. And somehow, I always found myself begging him… with double of what he asked for. This went on for years. My provisions would finish quickly and when my mum asked, I couldn’t explain. They thought seniors were taking them. Even when I started keeping things with my guardian, it didn’t stop. Kevin would demand I bring more. When I couldn’t, the silence returned. At s...

My friend told me recently that their new employee resigned after her probationary period was extended because of her performance. HR had a conversation with her and pointed out areas where she needed improvement. She was given a one-month extension to work on those areas, but instead of taking the opportunity to grow, she chose to resign. A few days earlier, I also spoke with my mentor. He struggled to relax during our conversation because he had just come out of an argument with a Gen Z employee regarding expectations on a task he had been assigned. These days, you hear many stories about what it is like working with Gen Z. It often feels as though a new generation is trying to redefine how work, commitment and responsibility should look in this era. The challenge is that everywhere you turn, someone is saying, “Things are no longer done that way.” The message seems simple: accept the new way things are done or insist on your values even if you have to stand alone. To be honest, I ha...

About three weeks ago, I became tired of constantly searching for pencils and pens whenever I wanted to study with my children. It felt like a small issue, but it was costing us time, money and discipline. So I stopped tolerating it. I drove to Jewel Multiservices at Area 1 and bought pencils, pens, erasers, rulers and a proper stationery container. I placed it close to the dining area where we study. Then I gave clear instructions: Every item taken must be returned immediately after use. Replacements will only happen when the ink finishes or the pencil lead is exhausted. If I check and anything is missing, everyone answers. Day one: a pen and pencil were missing. Blame game started. Eventually, they were found and returned. Day two: same thing. Day three and four: nothing missing. It has now been three weeks. Only one pencil is gone, the lead finished. One pen is missing, perhaps a visitor who did not know our rule. Inspection changed behaviour. A few days ago, while reviewing why sa...

  A few weeks ago, I was at Anglican Girls Grammar School Abuja for the sweetest Harvest Thanksgiving service for year 2025. The only downside was the amount of time we spent, perhaps because we were all too excited. At some point during the programme, the Chaplain asked the audience if he could have a few more minutes to round up a section. The students thundered 𝐍𝐎! While everyone laughed because parents were obviously ready to agree with the Chaplain, I saw something entirely different. I saw a new generation of young people who will be bold enough to transform Nigeria. This morning while studying scripture, I landed on Luke 19:41 to 44: Now as He drew near, He saw the city and wept over it, saying, If you had known, even you, especially in this your day, the things that make for your peace. But now they are hidden from your eyes… While reflecting on this scripture, I concluded that many of us in Nigeria and in different facets of life do not like peace. We may not even desir...

 Yesterday, the anchor scripture on the YouVersion app was Jeremiah 29:13 : “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” In our home, Saturdays are usually our rest days. We don’t insist on a family prayer time because everyone deserves to sleep in after a long week of early mornings. But since it was the first day of November, I requested a general devotion once everyone was awake. We began by exploring what it truly means to seek God with all our heart. Each of us shared experiences of times when we desperately called on God for help. The children spoke honestly, and soon the conversation shifted to our daily lives and the things we want to achieve. My daughter started by sharing her battle with mathematics,  a subject that once terrified her. She laughed as she confessed that she used to cry whenever the maths teacher entered the class because everything sounded like gibberish. Thankfully, at Anglican Girls' Grammar School, Abuja where she studi...

  A Hard Beginning In a small town in India, Neelish’s dog was stolen and killed. The pain deepened when a policeman arrested him and accused him of being the culprit. When he tried to defend himself, he was tortured. His mother, a respected community leader, stepped in. She was slapped and humiliated, but she persisted and engaged a lawyer through an NGO. That decision secured her son’s release. Choosing Purpose Over Prestige Years later, as university approached, Neelish weighed courses that could bring a strong salary. His mother guided him to think about usefulness to the community. He chose Law. He remembered the NGO lawyer who showed up when it mattered. He wanted to stand up for others who suffer injustice and to make justice accessible. A November Reset for Business Owners We are in the penultimate month of 2025. It is a good time to reassess purpose. If your work has become only a pursuit of income, pause and revisit the original problem you wanted to solve. Pu...

  A few years ago, during a period when I travelled frequently for work, my driver and I were involved in a serious accident. The cause? Large stones used as roadblocks by security operatives were left unattended on the road long after duty hours. Even those living in that community didn't find a need to take it out.  That experience reminded me of an old story titled “A Good Deed Rewarded.” The King’s Experiment King Arund had grown tired of his people’s constant complaints. They wanted the government to handle everything, even the most trivial tasks. To teach them a lasting lesson, he secretly ordered that a large stone be placed in the centre of the City Square one night. The next morning, people began to pass by. A merchant, annoyed at the obstruction, refused to move the stone. He insisted it was the government’s responsibility. Others also complained, cursed, or found ways to manoeuvre around it, but no one made an effort to remove it. The Farmer Who Chose Action Hours...

I am not sure if King David had another war to fight, because it was not stated. But I read that God was angry with Israel, so He incited David to take a census of Judah and Israel and enrol the fighting men. Now, this was the same David praised in Scripture, Saul killed thousands, but David tens of thousands. When did statistics (the number of fighting men) suddenly become more important than trust in God, who had been guiding them to victory irrespective of numbers? Scripture records that David was incited to do wrong because God was angry. Please don’t ask me what David did oh 😊 but I am certain he did not take another soldier’s wife this time 😊. Not long after, the prophet Gad visited David. David already knew he had sinned, and Gad told him to choose his punishment. Wise David chose God’s punishment over man’s. (If you think he was wrong, try remembering a time when someone decided to “deal with you.” If men were gods… hmmm 😅). Even with mercy, the punishment was great, 70,000 ...

  Do we truly value things until we’ve carried the burden ourselves? When my son Papi turned 10, I decided it was time to add washing his football boots and socks to his chores. Not just his own, but also those of his two younger brothers. One evening after training, I asked him to soak all the socks and then wash them. As he struggled through it, I quietly smiled, knowing he was learning something deeper than just doing chores. A few moments later, his younger brother Domba strolled out with no slippers on, just socks. Immediately, Papi shouted, “Haba, Domba! How can you walk around in only socks? Is it because you’re not the one washing them? Daddy, warn him oh, otherwise he’ll wash them himself!” I burst into laughter because it reminded me of when I used to complain, “Why are you walking around in socks without shoes?” Papi would just say sorry, and sometimes even do it again. But now, because he is responsible for washing them, he insists no one should walk around the house in...

Image Credit : Facebook While discussing life over shawarma at a restaurant, I didn't realise my friend was quietly listening to "My World" by Lucky Dube playing softly in the background. Suddenly, he asked, "If given the choice right now to be a child or an adult, which would you choose?" I laughed and quickly replied I'd choose adulthood, after all, adulthood represents freedom. Children are bound by rules, burdened with endless errands, and given only a small piece of meat during meals, or at least that's how it was when I was growing up. As I enthusiastically listed adulthood's perks, like independence, making money, and enjoying certain privileges, I noticed my friend wasn't as thrilled as I was. Curious, I asked why he had posed the question. It turned out he had just managed to pay his children's school fees moments before their exams began, narrowly avoiding a situation where the school would prevent them from sitting exams until fees...

 When my daughter started attending Anglican Girls Grammar School (AGGS), Abuja , I was so impressed with her progress that I began to openly share and recommend the school to other parents looking for a solid boarding school for their girls. Soon after, I received a number of private messages from interested parents asking for more details. I was happy to share and highlight the aspects that made the school stand out, because I’ve chosen to be intentional about my children’s education. Then one morning, I woke up to a direct message on Facebook: "You’re Catholic and you’re promoting an Anglican school. How much are they paying you for all this publicity? Why have you never shared anything negative about the school, are you trying to make it look perfect? You need to stop before you mislead innocent parents who find you credible." I was shocked. For a moment, I wondered why she didn’t just ignore the post if it didn’t serve her. I simply replied, “Thank you for your feedb...

  Growing up, our parents were protective, perhaps even too protective, keeping a close eye on the kinds of friends we kept. I remember many times when my dad would pull me aside to question me about someone he saw me talking with. He would ask, “Who’s that boy? Who are his parents? Where do they live? Does he go to school? What was his position last term?” If I really valued the friendship, I sometimes painted the person in such a bright light that my overly impressed father would begin his own investigations. But when my information didn’t add up, the verdict was swift: “I never want to see you with that guy again.” And just like that, I had to ignore someone I liked, no questions asked. Fast forward to today, I’m a father now, and somehow, without seeking permission, that same protective spirit has taken over me. One morning, while dropping off my boys at school, his class teacher complained that he and his friend Abubakar (not real name) were disturbing the class with football ...