MIDLIFE CRISIS IS REAL

 

Midlife Crisis Is Real.

It’s either you accept it and do something about it, or live in denial and face consequences you cannot deny. 

I’m almost certain that, for the past month, I have declined to take a lot of phone calls; business, personal, even intimate ones from my mum and a few others. The bad part was, I knew the consequences: lost business, strained relationships, and growing distance from people I care about. But I didn’t care.

To make sure I wasn’t sliding into depression, I threw myself into lawn tennis. I’m usually regarded as someone without great stamina on the court, but I played harder than usual, sometimes twice a day, because tennis became my escape. My driver even asked if I was training for an amateur tournament! 😊

For those wondering what a midlife crisis is, Gemini defines it as a period of self-reflection and emotional turmoil, typically occurring between ages 40 and 60, when one begins to question their identity, life choices, and accomplishments.

Yes, I questioned everything. 

My career choices, especially the ones that weren’t adding up. 

My colleagues, especially the non-performing ones. 

My decision to remain in Nigeria, living with what sometimes feels like “hope deferred.” 

My faith in God. 

My accomplishments and earnings that still seem unable to cover all my responsibilities. 

My friendships, particularly when I’d need just ₦1–5 million and might have to call ten people before finding it. 

My talents and gifts, wondering what I had really done with them.

Tennis was helping, but I realised I was dwelling more on the issues than finding a way out.

Thankfully, I confided in a counsellor and friend who told me my experiences were signs of trauma, and that unless I faced whatever was causing it, I risked falling into depression and everything that follows.

That conversation reminded me that my life is in God’s hands, but He’s rented it to me to manage well. I had to face my issues, because like Nigeria, no one is coming to save you.

So, I took a few deliberate actions:

• Reassessed my purpose: I defined my own indicators for success; no longer comparing them to others’.
• Started saving again: Despite being in debt, I opened a mutual fund account and began saving ₦200,000 monthly towards retirement. I also reached out to an expert, Nora, to teach me about the stock market. I vowed never to borrow again; being a servant to debt is terrible.
• Addressed my team: I enrolled some colleagues in training and decided to recommend letting go of those who don’t improve by year’s end.
• Invested in learning: I bought books like How Heaven Invades Your Finances, The 33 Strategies of War, and some marketing titles to re-motivate myself and refocus on business growth.
• Reconnected with my network: I reached out to friends and shared some needs, asking them to be more deliberate in recommending us for business.
• Revived my faith: I began studying Scripture again and praying. Job 12:7–10 stood out: “But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish in the sea inform you. Which of all these does not know that the hand of the LORD has done this?”
• Created a peaceful space: I took my alone time seriously, painted my office music room all white, and made it my little sanctuary.

When older men used to say, “You won’t understand,” I didn’t get it. But now I do. 

What matters most is not the crisis, but the choice to walk through it toward midlife success.

Will the journey be easy? No. 

But I’ll take it anyway. Because this narrow road that leads to life, only a few find it, and I plan to be one of them.

Don’t pity me. 

Deal with yours. 

Deal with life, and live out your purpose.

Have a blessed week.