How My Mother's Tough Love Inspired My Entrepreneurial Journey

 

“What Are You Doing There?” The Question My Mother Asked That Changed My Life

During the mass housing privatisation exercise under President Olusegun Obasanjo's administration, one of the government officials living around Garki Area 7 in Abuja wanted to sell the house allocated to him. My mum saw it as a great opportunity and encouraged me to buy the house, but I declined because I did not have the money.

A few days later, she called me again because the house was still on the market, selling for just ₦7 million at the time. She said, "Chuka, I will pay 50% of the money for you. Please buy that house." I tried to avoid the conversation, but eventually, I shamefully admitted that I could not afford my own half.

A few days later, she came in person to the office where I was working at the time. This time, she was determined to make the purchase happen. "Oya, how much do you have? Bring whatever you have, and I will make up the balance so we can get the house for you."

With my face covered in shame, I replied, "Mummy, I don't have any money."

I saw the disappointment in her eyes before she asked me a question that sparked a different kind of hunger in my spirit.

"What then are you doing here?"

She walked away, asked the realtor to refund the advance payment she had made and instructed him to sell the house to someone else.

I could not sleep that night. I kept pondering over that question: "What are you doing there?"

There was absolutely nothing wrong with my workplace. After all, many of my mates did not even have jobs, let alone jobs that came with health insurance, leave allowance and all those travel perks that made us comfortable enough to keep showing up at work.

But my mother's question had exposed something I had never really considered. I was comfortable, yes, but was I building the capacity to afford the things I wanted in life beyond what my salary could provide?

Well, I did not resign from my job, but that hunger to be able to afford things beyond my salary and the perks that came with it birthed the spirit of entrepreneurship in me. I began to think differently about money, opportunities and what I could achieve if I pushed myself beyond the comfort of paid employment.

Looking back, I realise that this spirit was not entirely new to our family. I watched my dad hustle tirelessly to provide for us until he passed away at just 48, leaving my mum with six children to raise. And she did an incredible job raising us because she, too, had that hustling spirit.

I remember visiting her sometime after that incident, following an invitation from her. Perhaps she wanted to pamper me with some delicious Nsala soup to make up for how she had made me feel at my office. 😁 But trust my mother, even while pampering me, she did not fail to remind me whose son I was and the kind of man I was expected to become.

There are too many things I can credit my mother for. While I thank God for making me the man I am today and for the kind of father He gave me, I give my mother enormous credit for keeping me hungry to achieve things I would ordinarily never attempt from a place of comfort.

She taught me, sometimes without sitting me down for a formal lesson, that love is not always about making people comfortable. Sometimes, love challenges you, asks uncomfortable questions and pushes you to discover capacities you never knew you had.

Today is my mum's birthday, and I thought I would use this medium to thank her once again for loving me, even in those moments when I could be so unlovable. For believing in me when I had very little to show, for refusing to let me settle for less than I was capable of achieving, and for raising six children after losing the man she loved.

Mummy, that house in Garki Area 7 may have slipped through our fingers, but the hunger you awakened in me that day has remained with me ever since. And for that, I will always be grateful.

Please say a prayer for my mother today. Pray that God continues to bless her with good health, peace, happiness and many more beautiful years to enjoy the fruits of her labour.

Happy birthday, Lady Christiana Nkeiruka Chiezie.

I love you, Mum.

Mother first to Chuka 1 of Africa.

Shalom.